Wednesday, May 23, 2007


ON DREAMING.... (originally published on Clifford Pickover's Galactic Question site)

Coming to a state of lucidity in dreams is not unlike coming to a state of "in the moment" serenity in waking life... becoming the engaged observer of one's own existence is what it's all about, so of course we would all want to control our dreams. The key to this is the unconscious mind, since it's the one putting on the show. Every show or conception of reality tells us something, signs are messages and what they mean to us reflects things our unconscious is trying to communicate. If our egos were able to control our dreams then our unconscious selves would have to erupt during waking life, which is never a good idea. Through meditation and lucid dreaming we can open the communication channel between our conscious and unconscious, get the dialog going, and as a result our dreams become more harmonious and in accord with our waking.

One day you can even reach a spot where your dreams and waking life meet and become identical. This happened to me once during a profound bout of fever combined with deep trance meditation -- I saw the exact same vision with my eyes closed or open. The two-dimensional otherness of dream perception had bled into my waking reality and vice versa and there was no longer a difference. Crazy, daddio! My point is this: we use 10% of our brains during waking life, thus dreams are the other 90% (or less) trying to communicate with us, to lead us forward via messages, to face fears, overcome obstacles and so forth... when we finally pass enough obstacles, challenge and absorb enough demons, embrace the evil self and free it to the heavens, then we finally meet this other, this alter-ego self who creates the dreams, this aspect of ourselves is sometimes mistaken for god, but that's a bad mistake, since it's way too tricky to trust fully. chances are it's a little annoyed with you for not coming to visit sooner. It's like your true love waiting in the Rapunzel tower to let down her hair, and you're 1000 years late.

Friday, January 26, 2007

The story of Godboy & Pippaphone
Here's my daily wisdom nuggets:
Drop all thoughts like they hot, come back to the zero point all the time...
(in other words, dont think twice about something, because that's the gateway to obsession)
Practice regarding random people who pass by with compassion and love (as opposed to judging them sexy or ugly, townie or hottie)
Continually question motivations: Am I doing this to help the person and make the world a better place, or because my ego needs puffing?
Natacha and I used to have a signal whereby we would catch outselves tripping out on shit, winding up into self centered fear, ego trips or obsessive talking and we would break out of it by making goofy gong sounds, "gong gong gongonggog" -- so let's say I started telling her about my day and suddenly I'm ranting about how I am so happy I dont even feel the need to get mad at you for not doing the dishes... which, by the way, when are you going to do them, you bitch? I mean they've been dirty for three freaking days now so anytime you-- gongongongong."

Thursday, January 25, 2007

The mentally ill

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


I've started reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead (translation by Robert Thurman) to prepare for the end of the world. I'm doing my part!!

It all points to 2012 - the end of the Mayan calendar (the "real" calendar) -- the return of Quetzlcoatl (see Daniel Pinchbeck's great book of the same name).
I'm preparing to enter the higher dimensions, the one with the machine elves and magical cities, and I'm looking for a small but hearty and hale crew to join me in this survivor quest.

Most of humanity will, thank God, be doomed.
What is coming is a biblical-style armegeddon of floods and mutant preying mantis's with whips running around the city tearing shit up as their dimension merges with ours. They've been watching over us for centuries, but once the shit hits the fan and it's all drowning away, you can bet they'll sneak out their wormholes and start grabbing whatever jewels and binoculars they can.

You know why? WE create reality and reality creates us. We're dreams of aliens and the aliens we dream and write about are shaped by our perceptions. Aint that nifty??

So the trick is to master the prayers and attentions in the Book of the Dead wherein you pray to realize that all the demons coming for you are just illusions from your own mind.

My experience with them is also to merely regard them with perfect love, and to let go, and to feel perfect love for all beasts and monsters.
Imagine this, a giant tiger jumping up onto your bed as you sleep. You panic and freak out so he mauls you OR you stay still and trembling and he senses your fear and tortures you like a mouse, OR you pet him and regard him with affection and love and name him Tabby.
If you love him, even if he mauls you, you wont feel the pain, any more than a parent feels humiliated and outraged if their baby shits on their foot. Understand?
It's confusing... but I am patient. See that demon picture up there on the left. I RECOGNIZED that guy, with his 3 eyes, from a 4 AM spiritual vision quest I had a few months ago. I had never seen that Tibetan demon before. Then I got an invite from the Rubin Museum with that same head on the cover and had a huge shock of recognition. I had SEEN THAT FACE BEFORE!!!There are no accidents, and no mistakes, and everything is beautiful if you are brave enough.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Jazz Appreciation

The scream of a saxophone can't be listened to as one would listen to a voice or a "melody" the way years of listening to FM radio and its repertoire of rock and pop classics have ingrained us to listen to music. Jazz is best appreciated by listening more to your thoughts. The voices in your head speak in different tongues if you open yourself up to listening to them. The ego clings to its initial snap judgment of things, and uses it's own interpretation of catchy songs as distraction, to drown out the other voices, the ones that speak in different tongues. You need to have a quieter ego to appreciate jazz to the fullest. You need to have a grasp on the elusivity of time, of the moment. A jazz man has to live in the moment. An improvisation is an example of the surrendering to these inner voices.

One must let go and trust the unconscious completely. It may say some pretty nonsensical things. It works like dreams work, ouside of the constraints of time. In dreams time stands still or is always in flux, hence running can be slower than walking in dreams. a good jazz man is able to do a similar thing with time, he becomes the unconscious, but with discipline – drums and bass keep a kind of religious framework. The rhythm becomes the highway of time, via which the melody shifts and moves, but then--in jazz-moves off the highway, and the shape changes. Linearity and melody cease, exposing the the movement of time as illusory… then there is the general structure and key of the tune they are playing. This becomes the "ringing" in the head that is all the ego can really contribute to the occasion of a jazz performance.

I didn't realize this until I was watching the two-part opener of the second season of Charlie's Angels on DVD. At the end the three of them are dancing. Bosley is dancing and clearly drunk and in this sort of snobby, devil may care attitude. The ego is like this, it dismisses all that it does not already know, for the very good reason that itself as a persona is so finite as to be extinct with the addition of any new information into the organism. Hence the ego prefers catchy melodies to the elaborate and invigorating abstractions of jazz. A melody is known, jazz resists knowing.

Actively listening to good jazz is an adventure. Listen to Art Blakey's Jazz messengers for prime examples of this. Divorce yourself from all the noir-esque pop culture associations you have with the sound of the saxophone (this is easier said than done)—think of the song they play as a gateway into demonic possession. The melody is the chant, the time signature the time, the time of the song stretches and elasticates with the addition of your own listening.

Does a tree fall in the woods if you don't hear it? No, and neither does jazz on an ipod make music if you are not listening to it. Just as with the headphones off it sounds tinny and far away, so too does it sound different if you are not experiencing it fully—the active listener. A suspension of the ego is required which is why jazz is great after meditation or yoga, or trying to make music yourself. When the sounds of a sax is heard not as your egoic perception of a sax but as a voice, let's say, an alien voice. Like a child may look at a page of writing and pretend to understand it, so too are most jazz listeners stuck in a kind of bored half hypnosis…. When you are into it all the way, jazz can be funny! Mingus is as hilarious as roomful of muppets sometimes. It's all about tuning in to the unknown and not looking for "it" whatever "it" is to you, the hook that makes this a song worth buying, or putting on a mix CD for someone, or learning to play. We must let go of our desire to reduce and label – "oh, I remember this song, this is 'Melancholy Baby,'" for example, causes us to immediately reduce the song, as ist is being played, to a memory. This is not the moment, this is not they mystery of music being made, this is "Melancholy Baby!" and the ego races around, pulling up other versions you may have heard out of your vaults in an effort do diminish this moment's power.

The ego always gives more importance to past events than to present, so the new interpretation often can't match the old one, grown rosy through the distorted lens of memory. By way of example, I have a friend who reveres only Hendrix and Beck. I could bring him a CD of great music that sounds probably like what Hendrix may have made today were he alive and my friend would not give it the time of day. But if Beck releases an album of total crap, my friend will instantly revere it. This happens to many in adulthood who are well balanced and content with their lot. They have jumped through all the hurtles very nicely and so never had to linger or go back along the course and so when they get to the section where they can see the finish line (death) approaching, they start looking backwards, but it's too late, they can't stop jumping hurdles, so everything behind them is suddenly tinged with gold and glory, while the future and their death is steadfastly ignored. We're destroying the whole planet because of this white elephant in the room, because these old rich guys are so terrified of dying that they're burning up the world to obscure the exit sign with smoke.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Oh hail fellow travellers on this astral plane made flesh. The world is ending in five years and if you want to survive in the next dimension, you will keep reading this blog and learn how to spread yourself thin via funky robotic dances and deep meditation. I know all the secrets, or some of them. Okay I know one secret.